Since Sunday, I had been trying to cut junk food out of my life, so naturally by today I was looking for a greasy, carb-filled excuse to cheat on my diet. On Tuesday night, while watching Hell's Kitchen, Mom saw a commercial for the new Big Bell Box at Taco Bell. Luckily, I didn't see it or else I would have taken my keys and run for the border. I love Taco Bell, even if it doesn't always love me. Before heading to bed, Mom asked me if I had ever heard of the Taco Bell Big Bell Box. "No," I said excitedly, "but what's in the box?" Like a modern day Nancy Drew, Mom flew to the computer to investigate. Once on the Taco Bell Web site, she called me over so that I could see the components for myself. I lunged over to the screen, almost tripping over my cat on the way. I just had to know what was in that box! What we saw was one of their new Queso Crunchwraps, a bean burrito, a crunchy taco, a large drink, and a small bag of cinnamon twists. For $4.99 plus tax, it was advertised as "the meal that's made for men." A little sexist, in my opinion. I can pig out just as good as any man can. Since it was too late for my stomach to handle a big box of fast food, I went to bed with visions of Fire sauce packets dancing in my head.
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When morning rolled around, I tried to put my Mexican food fantasies on the back burner. I had a diet to worry about! Although I had a lot of work to do at the office, my mind kept drifting toward the Big Bell Box. "I wonder how big it is," I said to myself. I decided to call Mom. After all, it was almost lunch time. If I was going to cheat on my diet, it was now or never. "So what about that Big Bell Box," I asked her. I was trying to get her to say, "Oh man, I could go for some Taco Bell right now." I just didn't want to be the one who voluntarily ruined the diet. I wanted to blame her for my taco consumption and possible weight gain. Since she never took the bait, I just came right out with it: "I'm going to Taco Bell for lunch. Are you with me?" Without hesitation, Mom said, "OK!" So much for the diet. Hanging up the phone, and with $10 burning a hole in my wallet, I got in the Kia and drove all the way across town to Fall River's only Taco Bell. I arrived at just around 1 p.m.
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Since this was an impromptu visit, I didn't have my camera. I made a mental note to return to Taco Bell after work to snap some shots of the building and its interior (see above). I was on a time crunch since my lunch break is only 45 minutes, so I was getting a little antsy waiting in line at the drive-thru. I glanced at what I could see of the large menu, and did NOT see the Big Bell Box. WHAT?! I started to panic. Finally, as I was able to drive a little closer, I spotted it. Unfortunately, it was $5.99 - a dollar more than the commercial stated. I guess prices do vary. Anyway, it was finally my turn at the intercom. Does anyone else hate Taco Bell's new way of taking your order? Instead of saying, "Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order," they say, "Hi. How are you?" Yeah, I'm fine - just get my food. I never know if they're waiting for me to talk or not, so I always end up sounding impatient by shouting, "Are you ready?" After the employee was finally with me, I placed my order: a Big Bell Box with a Diet Pepsi (of course - gotta watch the calories), and two beef supreme gorditas with no tomatoes for Mom. The woman's voice on the intercom asked if I wanted a crunchy or soft taco. For some strange reason, I thought that both types of tacos were included in the box. "I don't get both," I asked. "Um ... no," she replied, probably thinking that there was enough food in there for two people. After choosing a soft taco, she quoted me $10.05 and asked me to drive forward. PROBLEM: I only had $10. I had used all my change to buy some cookies at work, and now found myself desperately searching for a nickel, five pennies, or SOMETHING. I keep my car way too clean and could not come up with anything, unless she wanted to take a box cutter, a dirty blanket, or some recyclable grocery bags instead of the cash. When it was my turn at the window, I handed her the $10 and said, "I'm so sorry, but I just don't have the five cents." She looked at me kind of weird, and so I said, "We can take something out if you need to." After I said it, I thought she'd better not take anything out for one damn nickel. Reluctantly, she said, "It's OK." Phew! That was a close one. Remind me to keep some spare change in the car in case this happens again. After asking me if I would like any sauce, which I declined, the cashier handed me the drink and bag of gorditas. Last but not least, she handed me the Big Bell Box. It was huge and very heavy! I couldn't wait to get home and tear that baby apart. She also handed me the receipt:
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*2 C-BFSP - $3.58
1 QSOBOX - 5.99
Subtotal - $9.57
Tax - .48
TOTAL = $10.05
<Like Mario Andretti, I raced home at top speed so that I could eat in the house. I really didn't want to drag a big box of tacos to work and gather a crowd in my cubicle to watch me eat it all. I threw the bag of gorditas to Mom who opened it and noticed that they had given her chalupas instead of gorditas. Not a big deal, but they should be more careful (*I also saw that the receipt listed chalupas instead of gorditas). I made Mom stop what she was doing so that she could watch me open my Big Bell Box, which conveniently said "BIG" on the front and even had lifting instructions in case you were too weak to move it on your own. It doesn't get any fatter than that. Once inside, all I saw were wrappers. I unwrapped each item, laid it all out, and just stopped to admire everything. Wow, there was a lot of food in that box.
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I decided to eliminate the cinnamon twists, so I gave them to Mom. However, I did steal a few before handing them over and they were a little over-spiced and too crispy. First, I started on the soft taco. With only a few bites, it was already over. It was good, but there always seems to be more wrap than filling, which is a bit of a let down. Next, the bean burrito. This actually was the complete opposite of the soft taco. It was stuffed with refried beans, which I don't really care for that much, and was extremely filling. Was I even going to be able to eat the Queso Crunchwrap? I soldiered on. I picked up the giant sexagon and took a bite. At first, all I tasted was the soft wrap. It was the second bite that allowed me to taste some of the spicy queso cheese. It was flavorful, but again, there was too much wrap and not enough filling. Mom's chalupas, on the other hand, were good. Now, the only difference between a gordita and a chalupa is its exterior. The gordita has a puffier shell than a regular soft taco and served as is, while the chalupa shell is the same, but fried. Mom enjoyed this different texture and was pleasantly surprised at how fresh the lettuce and the tasty beef mixture was. The only downside - not enough filling. Apparently that was the theme with today's order. She also shared my dislike of the cinnamon twists. They were too airy and had way too much sugar. Mom ended up chucking them afterwards.
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The Big Bell Box
<Mom's chalupa
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After peeking at the clock, I decided it was time to go back to work. The problem was, I couldn't move. I literally could have fallen asleep at the table because I was so full and exhausted from eating all that heavy food. Through all the drowsiness, something became quite clear to me - the Big Bell Box was nothing more than a bunch of Taco Bell's cheapest things in a giant square of cardboard. Feeling a little sick, I trudged back to work a little remorseful for abandoning the healthy eating for a big box of crap.
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Some people call this place "Taco Hell," and I can see why. There are times where the service is horrible, and the food isn't much better. I don't know if Taco Bell is a great place to work or not, but I'm sick of the employees taking out their frustrations on my food. Although they do use fresh ingredients, sometimes the food is served very sloppily. There is sour cream all over the inside wrapper, tomatoes everywhere but in the shell, and only a few bits of cheese near the center of the taco. However, there are other times where the food is to die for. My personal favorites include the gorditas, chalupas, Crunchwraps, and the double decker taco supreme, which is a crunchy taco filled with ground beef, cheese, sour cream, and tomatoes surrounded by a soft taco coated with refried beans. The best of both worlds. I also enjoy the new Big Taste Taco for $.99. Mom likes the chicken quesadilla and the nachos and cheese. I guess what it boils down to is that when you eat at Taco Bell - at least the one in Fall River - there is a 50/50 chance that you will get a good meal.
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I'd like to think of myself as an adventurous eater. I can "think outside the bun" with the best of 'em. However, there are times when I've regretted my decision to visit Taco Bell. Will I be back? Absolutely! There is something about the taste of hot sauce, ground beef, and sour cream that will keep me going back again and again. It's the only Mexican-ish restaurant in the area, and since I can't cook, this is my only option. Plus, where else can you get a bag of food and eat like a pig for around $5? Times are tough, my friends. I'll see you there!
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Taco Bell is located at 195 Marianno Bishop Blvd., Fall River, MA. The hours of operation are 10-2 a.m., Monday through Thursday, 10-3 a.m. Friday and Saturday, and 10-2 a.m. on Sunday. For more information, call (508) 677-0929.